Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
