girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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