Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize