I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize