I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
