I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
