doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I love you. Go after that dick
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
