Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
