Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Your cock deserves a montage
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
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