Whod you bang
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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