Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
