I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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