is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
