worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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