question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I am naked and annoyed.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
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