my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
