Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
