This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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