And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
