On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
MIDGETS
????
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
