she kept yelling 'call me bella'
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
