WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
