Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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