just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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