This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize