Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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