Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize