You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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