Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
