omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize