Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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