We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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