Dual....:-)
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Randomize
