i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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