): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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