I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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