She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
