You're completely useless in the revolution.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
