so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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