I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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