Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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