bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
