Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Who died my cat blue again?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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