You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
