Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize