spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
