well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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