let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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