Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
