OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize