just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
