ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
