i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
