His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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