Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
