My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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