i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
now i know why i became what i already was.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
