guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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