I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize