It's Friday. Sex?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
