Kiss
Puke
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
