Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
